


This Will Be Our Year

by queenofquiet17



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, F/F, New Year's Eve, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofquiet17/pseuds/queenofquiet17
Summary: Maybe it was clichéd, finally admitting their feelings on New Year’s Eve, that first real kiss crashing against Karen’s lips when the clock struck midnight. But it was the first chance they would get since Grace dared to let that question hit the air. It would be their chance to make the new year their year. And right now, Karen wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in her life.Karen is determined to finally tell Grace how she truly feels about her during 9C's New Year's Eve party. She just has to push through a few obstacles in her way first.
Relationships: Grace Adler/Karen Walker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	This Will Be Our Year

**Author's Note:**

> Every once in a while, I'll get an idea for a fic and put it all together in three days like a maniac; this is one of those. Pandemic brain kept me from writing as much as I wanted to, but I'm really glad I could sneak one last thing in before the year ended, and I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> This fic had a little help from ["This Will Be Our Year"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI2lTwY0Jx8) by The Zombies. There are lyrics in bold at the beginning and end of the story. Other than that, the words are my own.
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone. Here's hoping 2021 doesn't suck <3

_**“The warmth of your love’s like the warmth from the sun** _   
_**And this will be our year, took a long time to come** _   
_**Don’t let go of my hand, now the darkness has gone** _   
_**This will be our year, took a long time to come”** _

If Karen left now, she wouldn’t have to watch her kiss him at midnight. She still had time before the countdown began. She could grab her coat and slip out the front door without anyone noticing she had even thought about bailing. She wouldn’t have to explain herself. Later, she could tell anyone who asked that she tried to find them to say goodbye, but they must have been too deep in the crowd for her to find. No one would have a clue about the walls that were closing in.

Cripes, she had no idea what she was doing here anyway. This wasn’t how she wanted to spend her night. When she got this New Year’s Eve invitation, she thought it was just going to be the four of them ending the year in 9C. And if she was being honest, she was looking forward to a quiet evening with her family. Will coming through with an immaculate spread. Jack by her side to make her laugh until the ball dropped. And Grace...well. Maybe she could have gotten a minute alone with Grace to finally give an answer to her question. The question that made Grace lean in close the other day at the office, close enough for Karen to feel the words brush against her skin and give her life. The question that seemed to have been living on the tip of her tongue for years. The question she was finally bold enough to ask. The question she would have gotten a good answer to, if they hadn’t been interrupted.

It had been happening since they met, every time Grace became single again. Their friendship had always been filled with those little moments, kisses on the brink of going a little too deep, caresses on the brink of going a little too far for women who were supposed to be bound by the restrictions of a platonic connection. But they never crossed that line completely, not when Stan was still in Karen’s life (even though their marriage called for it) or Leo was still in Grace’s (even though Leo thought their marriage called for it). Not when Grace tried to give her heart to men who couldn’t even go a month or two without breaking it. It killed Karen seeing her look so sad everytime one of those losers left. But she had to admit, she loved that Grace trusted her to be the one to lead her out of that darkness, taking Karen’s hand and refusing to let go. Soon after, she would start to get a little closer, linger a little longer, take a few more chances they both knew would pay off. They could blame it on the way their friendship had always been as much as they wanted, but deep down, Karen swore there was more to the warmth that spread from Grace’s fingertips.

She always wanted there to be more to it. But just like clockwork, Grace would meet someone new and start to fall. And Karen would be left trying to tell herself that their time was still to come, somewhere down the line.

Grace’s last breakup a couple of months ago didn’t even seem to phase the redhead; she knew the routine, and this guy wasn’t really anything special, so there was no point in being upset about it. She didn’t need a mourning period, immediately diving into Karen’s personal favorite part of the cycle, the one that made her start swearing there was more to the warmth again. Grace would relax into Karen’s body the second she felt the safety of Karen’s touch. She would say she wasn’t ready to go home quite yet once they had reached the end of the work day, convincing Karen to break open the mini bar she kept at her desk (despite Grace’s initial protests) and have a drink or two. Her voice would get sincerely low as she told Karen she loved that they had this with each other, refusing to elaborate on what she meant by “this” like she wanted Karen’s mind to run wild, like she knew that Karen could fill “this” with anything she wanted, and the sentiment would still be true. She would brush against Karen’s skin and smile like she could feel the way she made Karen vibrate. It was the closest Karen had ever come during their stay in this cycle to being convinced that this was finally their time. And the other day was the closest she had ever come to knowing Grace was convinced, too.

Grace had been absorbed in sketches for a potentially huge client all day, some big shot who had just moved to the city and had all these massive connections to people who were about to follow suit, who would shell out an obscene amount of money for a designer without a second thought. She had convinced herself that he could make or break her entire business like she hadn’t been doing steadily fantastic work all these years, and it had thrown her into overdrive. She had been worried she wasn’t going to be ready for the next day’s presentation, scrambling to create a cohesive vision, barely saying a word to Karen except to thank her for pulling her out of her mind long enough to go get lunch. Karen hadn’t minded the silence; she decided a long time ago that if all she was able to do was watch this beautiful woman create her beautiful designs, she would be content. She had gotten lost in the view, unsure of how long she had been staring when Grace had finally met her gaze and smiled like she knew Karen’s eyes had been on her the entire time. They had stayed like that for a moment, eyes locked, Grace’s smile getting wider before Karen broke the silence. “Honey? What’s this? What’s happening? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m finished,” she had said, her voice overwhelmed with pride as she held up her sketchbook.

“Yeah? Well, I think that calls for a celebration!” Karen had reached behind her to open up the mini bar and pulled out one of the bottles of champagne she had stashed in there a couple days prior--one for when Grace finished her presentation prep, and one for when she landed the client like Karen knew she would--knowing how hard Grace had been working to try to land this client before the new year and wanting to give her a proper congratulations. “Lemme see what you’ve got. And grab a couple mugs from the coffee station while you’re at it,” she had said as she popped the cork.

Grace had set the mugs down on Karen’s desk and pulled up a chair, settling in with her sketchbook on her lap while Karen poured. “Okay, but I don’t need you pointing out everything that’s wrong with it.”

“Oh, stop it, I’m sure they’re wonderful. Come on, hand it over.” Karen had taken the sketchbook from Grace’s lap and begun to look through it, instantly blown away by what she had found. Plush bedrooms. A warm and inviting living room. One of the most elegant libraries she had ever seen. She had had half a mind to tell Grace to screw the client and use these sketches to start decorating the manse instead. She had always known the kind of talent Grace had; she always thought that eventually, with as many years as the redhead’s assistant under her belt as she had, she would get used to seeing it. But there were still times like this that completely floored Karen, that made the sincerity break through the walls she had worked so hard to construct. And in that moment, she couldn’t help herself.

“Grace...you’re incredible. I mean it. There’s no way he can say no to these.” She had looked up from the sketchbook to see Grace looking speechless, and she couldn’t help but keep going. “Honey, you really were born to do this, weren’t you? I don’t say that as much as I should. But you were. All these years, turning all of these places into dream homes. I’m so proud of you.”

She had had to stop herself there, because she had known how it would go if she didn’t. She wasn’t used to speaking so much truth; the cracks would get larger and larger until they brought down the walls completely. Until they got her to do something stupid like tell Grace about all the things she did to her by simply being in the same room. But good lord, Grace had made it so hard for her to stop, pulling the sketchbook from her grasp, reaching out for her hand, weaving their fingers together. That warmth Karen loved so much had begun to melt her, making her feel like maybe this time, it would be okay to let herself go like that. And as if Grace had been able to see everything running through her mind, she had taken a breath and uttered the most brilliant change of subject Karen had ever heard.

“Do you ever wonder if what you’re really looking for is right under your nose? Like it’s just waiting for you to come to your senses?”

Her hold on Karen’s hand had gotten tighter as she said it. Her lips had gotten to within an inch of the dark haired woman’s. Her eyes had been trained on her with such laser focus, making it impossible to escape what had to be Grace’s true intentions. She had been right there; Karen could have kissed her without even trying. And she had been running out of reasons why she shouldn’t. “Grace…” she had whispered, as if she had any kind of response that would be better than meeting Grace’s lips to show her the answer that had always been in her heart. But when she had realized she was kidding herself, she had started to lean in, watching the way Grace had started to close her eyes and give herself to the moment. It would have been their time.

That was, if Will hadn’t rushed in at that moment begging Grace’s help with some last minute preparations for the small get-together he had been planning to ring in the new year.

Grace and Karen had jerked away from each other just in time. Grace had let go of Karen’s hand. Karen had missed the contact as soon as it was gone. And everything would have gone back to normal, if it hadn’t been for the way Grace looked over her shoulder once she realized Will was distracted and threw one last longing smile Karen’s way, leaving that door open for Karen to walk through once they could get another moment alone.

And Karen had known with everything she had that she would run through that door the first chance she got.

Maybe it was clichéd, finally admitting their feelings on New Year’s Eve, that first real kiss crashing against Karen’s lips when the clock struck midnight. But it was the first chance they would get since Grace dared to let that question hit the air. It would be their chance to make the new year their year. And right now, Karen wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in her life.

When she walked into the party tonight, though, the stereo was at full volume, the drinks were flowing, and there were more people crammed into the apartment than she was certain Will even knew (she wondered how many people “just a few” was when Jack said he was going to spread the word). It was the furthest thing from the ideal setting for pouring your heart out; she could just imagine trying to fight against the laughter and the shouting and track after track of Madonna pouring from the stereo to tell Grace her love for her went deeper than she was ever bold enough to admit out loud before now. It wasn’t what either of them deserved. But if she could just find Grace and pull her aside--to her bedroom, to the hallway, to wherever--maybe this night wouldn’t be such a bust. She just needed to figure out where her girl was. But as she looked around the apartment, she quickly realized finding Grace was going to be easier said than done. It took an eternity to weave her way through the crowd to get to the liquor in the kitchen, and another until she saw a familiar face. And when Will finally surfaced, he seemed just as frustrated with this party as she was.

“God, this is a nightmare,” he muttered as a greeting, grabbing a glass and bottle of vodka. “I _told_ Jack we were gonna keep it small. I was expecting Toby and Josh at most, not his entire gay phone tree.” He took a swig out of his glass, grimacing at its strength before pouring more into it. “It’s loud. It’s packed. We ran out of food in half an hour, so god only knows how long the booze is gonna last. Hope you weren’t hungry, by the way.”

“Please, honey. I’ve got all I need right here.” Karen raised her own glass and tried to offer him a smile. “Wilma, if you’re that stressed out, why don’t you go get your coat and take a breather on the terrace?”

“Have you not seen the horde of guys who turned the terrace into a dance floor? In twenty degree weather, no less?” Will nodded towards the terrace door, where through the window, she could see some of Jack’s friends grinding to what must have been the muffled beat pulsing from the living room like they weren’t slowly freezing to death; as much as she shared Will’s annoyance, she had to admit that she admired their resilience. “And there are people in my bedroom, in Grace’s bedroom. There’s nowhere to go.”

Devil. There went her plans of trying to find a quiet moment with Grace. Maybe she could convince her to skip out on the party and go somewhere; she couldn’t imagine this being the kind of New Year’s Eve the redhead wanted anyway. They wouldn’t even have to go that far. All they would have to do is walk across the hall to…

“Jack’s place.”

“What?”

Karen sighed when she realized she said it out loud. Well. Maybe they could share that sanctuary, take the apartment in shifts or something. “Jack’s place should be empty, right? Go sneak off for a few minutes. No one’s gonna notice that you bailed on your own party.”

Will studied her, surprised that she would help him. But after a moment, he conceded. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Okay, fine, I’m out of here. I’ll be back...sometime before midnight. Maybe.” He started weaving his way through the crowd, grabbing his keys from the bowl on the coffee table. He was about to get away when Karen realized she needed his help before he disappeared. Because she sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to figure it out in this mess on her own. She reached out for him to get his attention.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, honey! Where’s Grace?”

Will stopped and took a look around, and furrowed his brow when he couldn’t see that far in front of him from any direction. “Last time I saw her, she was talking to some guy by the fireplace,” he shrugged, calling out to her over the music. And just like that, he was swallowed up by the crowd.

Well. It couldn’t be that hard, could it? The apartment wasn’t that big, and she was sure Grace thought this party would be the perfect opportunity to break out some sparkly little number to wear; between that and her wildfire locks, it couldn’t be that much work for Karen to find her flame. She stayed rooted at her perch in the kitchen, slowly scanning the room as she sipped from her glass, willing this sea of strangers to part just enough to give her what she wanted. She watched as the cluster by the fireplace swayed to the music without ever truly moving from their spot, frustrating her to no end. God, maybe if she started weaving her way through this mob again...but knowing her luck, Grace would start moving around when she did, constantly missing each other, wasting time until that magically clichéd moment was long gone, and Karen was still stuck on square one.

As if that group could read her mind, she watched as two of them started making for the terrace door and the frozen makeshift dance floor outside, slowly revealing a beaming Grace in their wake, right where Will said she’d be. Karen instantly felt the butterflies in her core wake up and flutter around, watching the way her cocktail dress glittered gold underneath 9C’s light, shining far brighter than the classic black Karen had chosen for herself. It was incredible, how Karen could feel her warmth from this far away, without being able to feel her hold on her hand. She couldn’t see who had the redhead’s attention just yet, but whoever it was just got her to laugh with her whole body, and Karen could not get over how gorgeous she looked when her face lit up like that; Karen could swear that laugh soared above the music and the din of the crowd. It was like a siren song, calling for her, refusing to quit until she followed. And really, it was pointless to keep denying herself. She was here. Grace was here. This was the chance she had been waiting for, to take Grace’s hand and sail straight through that open door. She stepped down from the kitchen, ready to squeeze past Jack’s friends to get to the one who counted. But once the crowd parted a little further, and she got a clearer view of the fireplace, she froze, rooted in place by the dining table despite the partygoers around her bumping into her as they danced.

Because in that moment, she finally saw who Grace had been smiling at this whole time.

Karen couldn’t remember his name. She had taken to calling him Mr. Big Shot from the moment Grace got his call saying he was interested in using her to decorate his new home; she had liked the way it got a laugh out of her boss even when she was neck deep in preparations for him. But the second he walked in for the presentation Grace had worked so hard on, the redhead took one look at him and her eyes grew wide in a way that was impossible to hide, no matter how hard she tried. It would have been endearing if it didn’t make Karen the slightest bit jealous, especially after how close they had gotten the day before. And it would have been cute if he didn’t look like the kind of guy who could shatter Grace’s heart in a second. Dark eyes that could disarm you, the kind of smug charm that could blindside you if you weren’t careful, that could make you forgive things that were completely unforgivable. He had left the same bitter taste in Karen’s mouth that Leo did, for all the same reasons. And as important as his business would be for Grace, Karen couldn’t wait to be rid of the guy.

She had watched as Grace gave the presentation, flustered and blushing but powering through. She had watched as the guy studied the redhead more than he studied her designs. And she had known that even if he decided to go with Grace for the job, none of this would end well. At the end of the presentation, he had told Grace that she’d given him a lot to think about. Grace had told him to call if he had any questions at all, or if there was anything she could do to make his decision a little easier. And Karen had realized exactly how he must have weaseled his way into this party. Calling Grace up and telling he was new in town and didn’t really know anyone. Using that smug charm to play up the pity. And Karen knew Grace wasn’t averse to taking unique measures to land a client from time to time; if she was fine with essentially pimping Will out to land one gig, Karen wouldn’t put it past her to extend an invitation to this party to buy some more time to land another.

Maybe she should have braced herself for it; they had been stuck in this cycle for so many years that they were bound to spiral one more time. But looking across the room now, watching Grace get more animated with whatever it was she was telling him, watching him move closer and closer to her, Karen couldn’t help but feel herself spin back into it. Normally, she could bounce back from taking that kind of hit (or, at the very least, make it look like she never took the hit at all). But lord, after that near-kiss in the office, she had been so certain this was it. And she hated being wrong. She hated feeling like Grace just let go of her hand and left her in the dark. So she brought her glass to her lips to drain the last of her drink and started to head back to the kitchen, hoping to drown her disappointment before she poured herself a refill.

“Kare!”

The voice pulled Karen out of her head (thank god) and turned her around as Jack started bounding through the crowd like it was nothing, blocking her view of Grace and her client as an accidental blissful distraction. His grin was uncontrollable as he nearly collided into her, kissing her hello on the cheek before turning to face the crowd. “Oh my god, Toby invited the _cutest_ guys to this thing. I just got that one’s number!” He pointed across the living room, towards two men in conversation by the door.

“The one with glasses or the one without?”

“Yes.”

Karen couldn’t keep her laugh to herself. This was exactly the kind of lightness she needed to make it through the night. Maybe she could salvage the night after all; she wondered how long she could keep him by her side, until he inevitably dove back into the sea for a third phone number. She rested her head against Jack’s shoulder as she took another look at his new beaus. “So which one are you gonna kiss at midnight?” she asked.

“Hmmm...I don’t know. I think it’ll come to me in the moment.” He took a beat before he asked, “What about you? Who are _you_ gonna kiss at midnight?”

Well. That lightness was fun while it lasted.

Karen shifted her gaze to the fireplace, where Grace was still shining for Mr. Big Shot. “I don’t know,” she murmured, her own words piercing through her. It wasn’t even really that it should be her at the fireplace instead of him; she had waited years to finally get her moment with Grace, she was used to it, and she could wait a little longer if she had to. It was that she had seen Grace get her heart broken so many times before, and she couldn’t stand the thought of someone like him destroying it again. But maybe she was too close to see the full picture of him. Maybe she needed a second pair of eyes. “Poodle,” she said as she nudged Jack to attention, “You see that guy talking to Grace over there? What do you think of him?”

Jack’s breath hitched and his hand flew to his heart. “My god…” he breathed, making Karen’s heart sink. He found something sleazy about this guy. He must have. Otherwise, why-- “He is _way_ too pretty to be stuck with Grace. I better go save him.” Instantly, he sprang to action, ready to make a beeline directly to the guy, his other new friends forgotten.

“Jackie, he’s straight!” Karen shouted, pulling at Jack’s arm to stop him from leaving her.

“Are you sure? He’s talking to _Grace,_ after all. It could go either way.”

God, this was hopeless. If Grace just looked her way and saw her standing here, maybe Karen could will her over. Maybe she could be proven wrong. Maybe Grace would take her hand again, tell her how exhausting it had been to talk to this guy and she’s not even sure if she got through to him, but she was just so glad she could finally unwind tonight. Maybe Karen would make her a drink and find a place that didn’t feel so claustrophobic (Will had to be out of Jack’s apartment by now, right?). Maybe she wouldn’t have to wait until midnight for that first real kiss. Maybe the new year really would be their year after all.

But then she saw the way Mr. Big Shot reached out to brush a lock of Grace’s hair behind her ear. And he ended up brushing away all of Karen’s maybes like they were nothing but dust.

Karen couldn’t stop staring, despite everything inside her screaming for her to look away. She waited too long; she missed her chance. She should have worked harder to find a minute with Grace before the party. She should have gotten here earlier. She shouldn’t have come at all. Spending another lonely night in the manse would have been better than watching this guy win her girl over. She didn’t think it could get any worse. That was, until Grace finally shifted her gaze and locked eyes with Karen for the first time that night. The redhead startled when she saw the dark haired woman, eyes wide as she dropped her smile like a hot plate. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, daring the other to be the first to look away. But eventually, Grace blushed and trained her focus on her feet.

It was the fallen face of someone who had been caught red handed. Karen could tell.

“Yeah, honey. I’m sure,” she sighed to Jack when she finally found the strength to divert her attention from the redhead. “Looks like Grace has her midnight kiss.”

She was so positive she wasn’t even hiding it anymore. The mask was off, and she didn’t have the energy to put it back on again. But if Jack figured it out, he didn’t let on. “Hey, if _you’re_ still looking for someone, maybe one of my two will help you out,” he said, the pride in his idea overwhelming his voice.

Karen offered up a smile and hoped it looked genuine. “I don’t think that’s gonna work as well as you think it will, Poodle,” she teased.

“Oh,” he murmured with the weight of realization. “Yeah. Well, then come find me before midnight.” He brought her in for a hug. “You can be my first of the year, okay?”

She absolutely adored Jack’s heart. He always had a way of making her feel the slightest bit better without realizing what he was doing. “It’s a deal,” she said, giving him a squeeze. And she sent him off to rejoin the party. It wouldn’t be how she pictured ringing in the new year. But at least she’d be ringing it in with someone she cared about. And at least she would be distracted from Grace ringing it in with someone else. Karen resigned herself to her new plan for the night, but couldn’t resist one last look over by the fireplace, just on the off chance something had changed. But when she did glance over, she couldn’t believe what she saw.

Grace and Mr. Big Shot were gone.

It was easy to get lost in this crowd. It was easy to move an inch and be completely swallowed up, become impossible to find; she knew Jack had been here the whole time, but she had no idea where he actually was until he ended up finding her. Maybe they were just getting a drink. Maybe they were moving closer to her, and she didn’t know it yet. Maybe it was nothing. But Karen could not shake the sinking feeling in her chest. The feeling that this was it. That the door Grace seemed to have opened up the other day was slammed shut, locked up with the key thrown away. That Karen had read more into Grace being close enough to kiss than she ever had the right to. That next year wouldn’t be their year. That she was foolish to think any time would be their time. It was so obvious now.

She guessed it was a good thing after all, not being able to answer Grace’s question, not being able to tell her that what she was really looking for had been under her nose the whole time, and she was just waiting for the right moment to make a move. She saved herself so much humiliation.

She just wished she could save herself the heartbreak, too.

She looked down at her watch. There was still a few minutes left until midnight, enough time for Grace and her guy to resurface, to rub it in. If Karen left now, she wouldn’t have to watch her kiss him at midnight. She still had time before the countdown began. She could grab her coat and slip out the front door without anyone noticing she had even thought about bailing. She wouldn’t have to explain herself. As much as she loved Jack for telling her to come find him, she couldn’t bring herself to do it anymore. She just needed to get the hell out of here. She needed some air, she needed her limo. She needed Driver to get her as far away from 9C as possible. She--

“Here. You needed a refill.”

Karen startled at the voice, jerking back into reality to find Grace smiling next to her with a full glass of champagne in each hand. Lord, she looked stunning, the light still bouncing off the sequins of her dress and making her the brightest beacon of late night sunlight. But before she could get too lost in the redhead’s glow, she did a quick scan of the apartment: Grace’s client was nowhere to be found. She felt her heart kick despite her best efforts to not get her hopes up, taking the drink Grace handed her and drawing a sip to calm it down. “Thanks, honey. So where’s Mr. Big Shot?” she asked, trying to hide the disdain in her voice and knowing she failed.

Grace laughed as she leaned back against the dining table. “I sent him home,” she said as they set their glasses down. “Well...I told him if he hurried, he could probably make it to a bar before midnight.”

“What?!” Karen could feel at least three pairs of eyes whip towards her as she shouted; even if she couldn’t, she would have known they did from the way Grace accidentally snorted into her hands. “Grace, you’ve been killing yourself trying to land this guy, what did ya do that for?”

“Simple,” Grace shrugged, inching closer to Karen. “He just wanted to date me; he was never gonna hire me. I knew he wasn’t paying attention to the designs in the presentation, so I thought maybe I could invite him here tonight for a second chance. At best, he’d hear me out and actually give it some thought before he’d get too drunk. And at worst...I knew how many people Jack was gonna invite tonight, so I figured I could eventually lose him in the crowd and come find you. But he cornered me at the fireplace, so…” They fell silent for a moment, Karen thinking of the way their eyes met from across the room, Mr. Big Shot trying to make his move while she watched, how that seemed to seal the deal. Grace shook her head like she was thinking about it too, and wanted to get the memory out of her mind. “He wasn’t exactly thrilled when I told him he wasn’t the one I wanted to be my first kiss of the year. Or any kiss of the year, for that matter.”

It was too good to be true. As much as she wanted to believe it, Karen couldn’t let herself do it quite yet. “Oh, whaddya talk, you were practically drooling over him during the presentation. He’s exactly your type.”

“Yeah...not anymore.” Grace reached for Karen’s hand, that warmth instantly starting to melt the dark haired woman as it spread through her. “And I wasn’t drooling over him, by the way. I mean, he was fun to look at. But there was no way it was ever going to go beyond looking at someone pretty. Especially not when I wanna be with someone else.”

She was close. Close enough for Karen to feel the redhead’s words on her skin again, close enough to give her life. She wouldn’t have to make that much effort to meet Grace’s lips; she could kiss her now and sail to midnight locked in that contact. But she wanted to hear Grace say it. She wanted it crystal clear. She wanted it to throw the butterflies in her core into an uncontrollable frenzy. She wanted to feel it all. “Who’s that?” she asked, a whisper she was surprised Grace could even hear against the din of the party.

Grace smirked as she gave Karen’s hand a squeeze. “Come on, Kare. You know _exactly_ who.” Karen swore that Grace could feel her nerves as she held on to her hand; she wasn’t used to someone making her this nervous. Maybe that’s what made Grace’s smile shine so brightly right now. Maybe that’s what made Grace’s voice sparkle as she pressed on. “Doesn’t it feel like we’ve been dancing around it for so many years?”

Good _lord,_ it did. Karen could run through an infinite number of times they’ve brushed against the obvious before ultimately turning around. Grace telling Karen how gorgeous and sexy she was when she was worried about Stan leaving her, wondering how much of that was for show and how much came from a deeper truth Grace wasn’t ready to name yet. Grace sleeping in Karen’s bed to keep her company while Stan was in prison, wondering why that was the best night of sleep either of them had in a long time. That time spent together in Leo’s cabin, wondering why it felt so damn natural to play house like that, wondering why they hadn’t been doing this the whole time. So much wondering. So many what ifs. It was exhausting. And they both could use the rest. “It does, honey,” she said softly. “And I’ve gotta tell ya, I am so tired of dancing.”

“Me too,” Grace said. “So maybe this year, we actually say what we mean, and we get what we really want.”

She said it like it was the simplest thing. And maybe it was. Karen always thought of Grace as the safest person in the world, the one she could let down the walls for, the one who wouldn’t laugh at what she saw when the mask came off. If she was going to spill the truth to anyone, it would be her. She didn’t want to start the new year with secrets, with things left unsaid; she didn’t want to set a precedent. And Grace was holding the door open for her. So she waited until one of Jack’s invites handed them paper noisemakers for midnight and moved on to the next cluster of people, just to make sure no one but the one who mattered was in earshot. And she took a breath.

“Gracie…” she managed, slow to start, staring at their hands intertwined, but once she found her voice, she picked up her pace. “I love you. I’ve spent so many years loving you, so many years watching these nobodies break your heart and knowing I could give you so much more than they ever could. But it just never seemed like the right time. Or it _was_ the right time, and it took me too long to realize it.” She shifted her gaze to meet Grace’s eyes, and saw the most extraordinary future waiting for her. “I almost bolted tonight when I saw you talking to him. It felt like we were so close the other day, and seeing him with you...it was like I lost my chance again. I am so sorry I waited so long.”

Grace shook her head, a tear starting to spill down towards her smile. “I’m the one who needs to be sorry for waiting. I wanted to tell you I love you so many times. But I was always afraid I was reading too much into things. It’s not like we ever had a real hands-off friendship, after all...we were always able to get away with more than we probably should” Grace laughed. “Never in a million years would I have ever guessed I could get someone like you to fall for me. I was never gonna fit in with the ones I’ve seen you fall for.”

“Honey...that is exactly why I fell for you.”

Someone from across the room called out thirty seconds to midnight, but from the dining table, it felt like Karen and Grace had stopped time to live in this moment forever. Karen tossed her noisemaker onto the table so she could take Grace’s face into her hand and feel the way the redhead leaned into the touch. Someone in the room lowered the music, someone else took charge of the countdown before the others started to join in. But Grace and Karen stayed silent, like if they started counting down with everyone else, the spell would be broken. Grace let go of Karen’s hand so she could wrap her arms around the dark haired woman’s shoulders, bringing her in close as Karen’s hold dropped to Grace’s waist. Grace rested her forehead against Karen’s, waiting out the last seconds of the countdown. Karen could see the final seconds of it on her girl’s lips, silently mouthing _five, four, three, two, one._ And Karen could not wait to let her lips collide into that countdown and decimate the last remaining seconds of a year in which she could not call Grace’s love hers.

When they kissed at midnight--their first honest-to-god kiss, as sweet and exciting and familiar as Karen had hoped it would be--the room erupted into a cacophony of cheers and noisemakers at full volume. And even though she knew they were meant for the new year that just began, Karen swore with everything she had that they were for her and her girl.

They were both reluctant to pull away. But when they finally did, Karen knew she couldn’t share Grace with a room full of strangers for a second longer. “Whaddya say we get out of here?” she asked. “Find someplace a little more private?”

Grace shifted in her arms so that their bodies were pressed against each other, and Karen could not believe how incredible the weight of her felt. She held on to this ray of light for dear life as Grace murmured into her ear. “I’d love that. Where were you thinking?”

Well. She hadn’t necessarily gotten that far. There was always Jack’s. But she honestly didn’t know if Will ever came back from his break from the party. And she didn’t want to chance barging in on him and trying to explain something that was a long time coming but still so new. But she did know a place. It might be a longer journey than the one across the hall, but… “I have a bottle of champagne in the mini bar at the office. I was saving it for when you landed Mr. Big Shot, but I think we just found a better reason to pop it. I can have Driver meet us outside in no time. How about it?”

Grace took a look around the apartment like she was trying to find Will and Jack to say goodbye before she realized it was a lost cause with so many people still crammed into the apartment. “Let’s go,” she said, with a thrill in her voice Karen hoped she could give her for the rest of their days.

Suddenly, it was the easiest thing in the world to weave through the crowd, like everyone knew exactly where they were headed and why, and they refused to stand in their way. Grace practically pounced on the coat rack, sifting through everything until she found what she was looking for, taking Karen’s hand and leading her out the door. The elevator came in no time, ready to send them on their way. They were so close.

But there was still one thing Karen couldn’t get out of her mind.

“Wait a minute.”

Grace froze with one foot in the elevator, her smile beginning to falter as she turned to face her. “What?”

Karen took a beat to study her girl before she smirked. “You knew how many people Jack was gonna invite tonight, and you didn’t even warn Wilma about setting up a bigger spread?”

The relief colored Grace’s features so brilliantly. “Listen, he should have known what was gonna happen the second he told Jack a couple of his friends could come over,” she laughed. “He brought that on himself.”

Grace stepped into the elevator and reached out for Karen’s hand. She was in Karen’s arms as they sailed down to the first floor, as Karen pulled out her phone to call for Driver to take them downtown. When they climbed into the back of the limo, they instantly became a tangle of limbs, unable to wait until they reached Grace’s office to start their true celebration. It all felt to Karen like something that could so easily be taken away from her. But Grace was the safest person in the world. The one she could let down the walls for. The one who wouldn’t laugh at what she saw when the mask came off. The one who was different. And she knew deep down that she was the one who would stay.

This was their year. This was their time.

Karen couldn’t wait to see what it had in store for them.

_**“Now we’re there, and we’ve only just begun** _   
_**This will be our year, took a long time to come”** _


End file.
